Yesterday we talked about the overlap between the church and the State regarding marriage. There was a time when church and state were one, and this marriage (all puns intended) of civic and religious responsibilities made sense. Even when the two separated, they walked in the same direction for many years, so things still worked. That’s no longer the case.
Marriage in society in general and marriage within the Kingdom are two different things. We need to recognize that fact. It’s not just now becoming true with some places allowing gay couples to marry; it’s been true for a very long time.
Our society looks on marriage as a temporary state. It’s a contract with an easy escape clause. There is no stigma attached to marrying and divorcing multiple times. Couples join, and jokes are made about how long the union will last. That’s not the same marriage we teach in the Kingdom.
When couples exchange their vows in front of an Elvis impersonator in a Las Vegas chapel, that’s not Kingdom marriage. When couples sign prenuptial agreements before saying “I do,” that’s not our marriage. When a man and a woman decide to “tie the knot” after having their third child, that’s not Christian marriage. I could go on and on, but we need to recognize that society’s marriage and the church’s marriage are not the same. By joining the two, we aren’t strengthening society; we’re weakening the church.
Even if the two marriages continue to be intertwined, we need to teach our children the difference between the two. We need to teach our adults, for that matter. The State isn’t the church, and the church isn’t the State. We are citizens of the Kingdom of heaven and need to remember, no matter how judges rule and politicians legislate, we answer to our King. For us: “There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy.” (James 4:12)
For citizens of the Kingdom, marriage is what it has always been.
Tim,
I think you are right on that marriage in society and marriage within the kingdom of God are two different things. And I agree with you for the most part on your assessment of what is not a kingdom marriage. However, you make one statement that I would qualify a bit.
You say, “When a man and a woman decide to ‘tie the knot’ after having their third child, that’s not Christian marriage.” I would say that such a scenario can and cannot be a Christian marriage. If the couple just decide to finally get married because it is more convenient, with thee children, for tax purposes, medical benefits, etc…, then it certainly is not a Christian marriage. However, if the couple is confronted with the gospel, convicted to the point of wanting to become Christians, and realizes then that their living circumstances is wrong and so they then decide to become one flesh as God wills, this would seem then to be a Christian marriage. Thoughts?
Grace and Peace,
Rex
I very much agree, Rex. Thanks for helping me clarify.
Tim,
i have to say, i have thought for some time now that the religious right’s crusade to get the government to define marriage is terribly misguided. i would say it’s in virtue of my belief in the sanctity of marriage that i hope the government just plain stays out of it. The idea that a Christian would ever consider the government the legitimate declarer of what constitutes sanctity in a marriage frightens me a great deal. If the government were to do so, that would be a giant step beyond their authority as far as i’m concerned. Also, the notion that the church needs the government to supplement its work reflects a rather low view of the church itself. i take from passages like 1Cor 6 that the church ought to be able to regulate its own and needing the magistrate’s help would be “slumming it.”
–guy
“Our society looks on marriage as a temporary state.”
I believe the bible does too.
Mat 22:30 For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage,——–
Tim,
Your reflections on marriage and government have offered much food for thought. Thanks!
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