In the United States, when you want to talk about a commandment in the New Testament that is “cultural,” it’s easy to point to the commandment to greet one another with a kiss. [I think it’s misleading to say we don’t follow a command because it was cultural; there’s much more to it than that. But that’s for another post] In much of the world, however, that’s not the case. Many cultures in this world greet with a kiss, including the Argentine culture. The greeting has even evolved since I first went to Argentina. Used to, men didn’t normally greet one another with a kiss (though my father-in-law always greeted me that way). Now it’s common between men that are friends or between Christians.
I wouldn’t impose the holy kiss on people here in the States. When I hear most people from here try to analyze the hows and whens of greeting with a kiss in another culture, I realize how artificial and awkward it is for them. One thing that bothers me about my home culture, however, is the lack of greetings. Some Christians can walk into an assembly and walk out without saying hello or goodbye. Admittedly, I’m more sensitive to that after living in Latin America; I’m used to being in a place where you feel obliged to speak to everyone upon arriving and before leaving. It drives me nuts in our office that some of my coworkers can arrive and later disappear without as much of a word to anyone.
I feel that even while not practicing the kiss, we need to practice the affectionate greeting. Really greet each other, more than we would a stranger on the street. Hearty handshake, eye contact, stopping to see if the answer to “How are you?” tells the whole story or not. Even if the kiss isn’t there, the relationship should be.
Greet one another, even if you never learned to greet with a kiss.
Tim, is once a day enough , or do we need to kiss every time we meet, does this apply to only indoors or are we supposed to kiss every one we see, policemen, homeless guy, can we be selective and only kiss the pretty ones, I am going to remember what you look like and be sure to stick out my hand quickly. This is Texas man, men don’t kiss other men, “Broke back mountain ” . all fun put aside, I do try to acknowledge every one with who I come into eye contact. I must admit most don’t return it, but that is not what it is about with me.
Good thoughts Tim, as usual. I sometimes wonder if “relationships” is one of the areas we suffer most in the church.
Tim you are so right on this article, I like this quote from it: “even while not practicing the kiss, we need to practice the affectionate greeting…Hearty handshake, eye contact”
Part being a Christian is showing that we care for each other, love is not sealed in a bottle, it should feel like a nice aroma around us. When people come and go like a stranger, there is nothing left but the cold realization that no ones cares any more.
This quote is wonderful, you’ve probably heard the song from Arjona: Love is a verb, not a noun. (El Amor es verbo no sustantivo)
Tim, I think part of the resistance to the “holy kiss” stems from a lack of true affection and being comfortable in our relationships with each other. In Muleshoe (where we lived before moving to Glen Rose), there was a man who practiced the holy kiss with anyone who was not offended by it. Talk about sticking out in conservative, rural America! But he’d ask permission first, explaining how he tried to follow those commands (blows me away with the plurality). Loves his heart!
I, too, do not understand how anyone can enter and leave without speaking to anyone else. In fact, I may make a nuisance of myself because I don’t want to miss speaking to as many as possible and learning something about how they are doing. We have a congregation that averages about 150 a week Sunday mornings. I guess I manage to speak to over half of them any one day. I start at the door and try to make sure I speak to strangers first and make them feel welcomed. Then I start with some of the oldest, age-wise, and go as far as I can down to the children. I just love the family of God and want others to love us, too.
I attended one congregation where a man insisted on the “holy kiss” being on the lips. I just couldn’t go with that – I don’t even kiss my grandchildren on the lips – only my husband. On the cheek, yes, but not on the lips.
Jeanne, sounds more like an unholy kiss to me.