Field Guide to Church Fauna: Frenzied Trendsuckers

The Frenzied Trendsuckers (bandwagonae jumponicus) are a fast-moving member of the bird family. They are continually chasing after shiny objects, principally the newest trends and latest fads. They live in search of a new and better flock of which to be a part of.

The Trendsucker can be recognized by its distinctive call, including sounds like “new,” “latest,” and “what the church should have been all along.” They are often carrying books with titles like “The Post-evangelical Neo-missional Re-emergent Movement.” They will respond to terms like “senior minister” or “church planter,” but will not respond to traditional calls like “preacher” or “pulpit minister.”

Young Frenzied Trendsuckers do not do well in captivity, though older ones can be domesticated over time. Once domesticated, the Trendsucker is completely rejected by his wild counterparts.

Unfortunately, Trendsuckers can often be very agressive toward species similar to themselves. Only with great patience can Frenzied Trendsuckers be brought to share living space with other species.

7 thoughts on “Field Guide to Church Fauna: Frenzied Trendsuckers

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention http://www.timothyarcher.com/kitchen/?p=3423utm_sourcepingback -- Topsy.com

  2. Guy

    Tim,

    This is great. Very clever. How do you suppose you could tell if you, yourself, were a trendsucker or that you’d come to some agreements with current “trends” legitimately?

    –Guy

  3. Tim Archer Post author

    Guy, as I flip through the pages of this imaginary Field Guide, I find that most of the descriptions fit me, to some extent.

    Grace and peace,
    Tim Archer

  4. laymond

    Mat 7:1 Judge not, that ye be not judged.

    Jhn 12:47 And if any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world.

  5. Tim Archer Post author

    Ha! Thanks, Laymond, for the good laugh. I’m guessing even you can see the irony of posting that.

    Well, no, on second thought, you probably can’t. But it’s still pretty funny.

    Grace and peace,
    Tim Archer

  6. laymond

    you are right I don’t see the iron-knee in what I posted. (neither do I condemn you)

    Jhn 8:11 She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.

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