I’m a people pleaser. Much more than I should be. I want everyone to like me. I want everyone to think well of me. Even though I consciously know that’s not possible, I still seek to have the approval of all.
Not that I think offending everyone should be a goal. Nor that insensibility toward the feelings of others is a good thing. Still, I think that too much time spent worrying about what others might think isn’t a good thing.
When differences arise at church, one of the great threats that is always presented is that people will leave. You’re going to offend people with this. People may start leaving.
I’ve come to think that, to some degree, people leaving a congregation is a natural thing. Especially in a town like Abilene, where you have dozens of churches of Christ. And I also think that congregations can be held hostage by a few who wield the threat of an exodus.
When we were in Córdoba, we ran a language institute, an annex of a large binational center. It was a prestigious institute. I’ll never forget something one of my colleagues said once. He said that when people come in complaining about their prices, he pulls out a list of inexpensive language institutes and offers it to them. And he tells them, “If the only factor you are considering is price, you would do well to consider these.”
I don’t have any specific issues in mind, nor am I planning anything controversial. I just got to wondering: how do you decide when to say, “Doggone those torpedoes, full speed ahead!” and when do you say “Unity is the most important thing”? Obviously, our goal is to please God, not to please men. However, we’re also taught to act out of love and to seek peace in the body. When do we decide that something is for the greater good, even when it steps on some people’s toes?
Any suggestions?
Photo by by Petr Kratochvil
I think the answer of “when” requires discernment that is attained from wisdom. I say that because for me the question of when comes down to the gospel and mission of God. I am not willing to allow the integrity of the gospel and the mission of God be sacrificed. Jesus was willing to tell Peter to get behind him and plow forth in the mission of God when Peter was attempting to thwart the mission of God to appease his desire for whom the Messiah should be. Paul was willing to condemn Jewish Christians who were willing to sacrifice the integrity of the gospel in order to maintain the Law and its accompanying traditions.
Neither Jesus nor Paul were willing to sacrifice the gospel or mission of God in order to please others. And yet determining when the gospel and mission of God are being jeopardized requires wisdom. It also requires that we understand the gospel and mission of God with crystal-clear clarity and I’m not sure some church have such clarity, having confused tradition and less than core biblical teaching as being the gospel and mission of God.
Grace and Peace,
Rex
Seems we rip the hide, or once did, without too much concern for division with our denominational brethren. Seems as well that has subsided. I am so thankful that it has.
Most of those divisions, I think, were over physical stuff, physical practices, physical days, physical understandings, physical names, physical buildings and physical friends.
I’m not sure why but it seems to me we have ignored Spiritual things. Spiritual unity,
spiritual worship, spiritual maturity, spiritual minds and hearts filled with God’s and the Son’s Holy Spirit. Things that are not seen and the mysterious things of God like walking by faith and NOT BY SIGHT. How much unseen faith is there if we limit one another to the words we CAN PLAINLY READ AND SEE in scripture? Is our faith in what was written or is it limited ONLY by relationship with God based on MY faith? Our faith or MY faith?
In all honesty the more I think, I think MOST ALL OF US have missed the Spirit and have focused on our Flesh, our righteous flesh, based on a right worship physically on what we can SEE occurring on Sunday.
How do we maintain UNITY of our FLESH?
By gently, patiently, lovingly teaching the Spirit and worship in spirit and keeping in step with the Spirit and unity of the Spirit through a bond of peace.
How’s that for an answer or were you seeking physical solutions?
Grace and peace through the Spirit, Clayton
Understanding the will of God when Christ and Paul were here is a distinct program for “the kingdom of God is at hand” then, and is completely different than it is now. Grace is the program with love being the main point of this age of grace. People who attend church are looking for more than just understanding the bible and study. They are looking for a place to socialize, make friends and develop a strengthening point for their lives. A place for their children to understand what the love of God is and how they can incorporate this in relationships with friends and families. When people leave the church, they leave for many different reasons. A change in pastors, certain clicks taking over the direction of the church. Disagreements on how the church should grow, whether it be a building program or a bus ministry or issues on tithing, baptism or any other doctrinal point. I left because I didn’t agree with the bashing of church members over tithing and giving till it hurts syndrome.
I wish I had a good answer to your questions, but I make far too many mistakes to give good advice in this area.