OK, it’s Friday in the midst of a winter storm season. I think we’re ready for a break. I know I am anyway. So here’s some lighter fare. I found some lists of the “Top 20 Oxymorons” on the Internet. Oxymorons, of course, are expressions made up of words that seemingly contradict one another. (George Carlin is famous for citing oxymorons like “Business Ethics” and “Military Intelligence.”)

Picking and choosing from the different lists (which all had the same #1), I’ve come up with these:

Top Twenty Oxymorons
#20 — Found missing
#19 — Personal computer
#18 — Dodge Ram
#17 — Same difference
#16 — Tight slacks
#15 — Sanitary landfill
#14 — Alone together
#13 — Random pattern
#12 — Virtual reality
#11 — Peace force
#10 — Plastic glasses
#9 — Head butt
#8 — Pretty ugly
#7 — Dry martini
#6 — Work party
#5 — Jumbo shrimp
#4 — Healthy tan
#3 — Exact estimate
#2 — Temporary perm

and our unanimous #1 — Microsoft Works