Sometimes on Fridays, I’ve been sharing jokes from the Archer treasury of bad puns. This one is a bit dated, but it’s still fun.

Johnny and his cow

Johnny worked all day at the mint. His job was a rather unexciting one: he sorted dimes. The dimes would come through, and he would pull out any of the coins with flaws. The good ones went into one bin, the flawed ones into another.

Johnny lived in a small house down the block from the mint. He lived alone except for his one pet, his cow Lulabell. Johnny loved Lulabell, and she loved him. Every morning, before going to work at the mint, Johnny would take Lulabell for a stroll around the neighborhood (along with the biggest pooper scooper you’ve ever seen!).

For his birthday one year, Johnny received a subscription to Wines of the World Club. This allowed to him receive a special bottle of wine each month. One month, Johnny got a bottle of Japanese rice wine. He loved it! So much so that he drank a tad too much one night and fell into a deep sleep, without setting his alarm.

The sun woke him the next day, and Johnny realized he was running late. He jumped out of bed, dressed quickly and raced to work.

Meanwhile, Lulabell was waiting for her morning constitutional. She waited and waited, then decided something was wrong. She broke out of her pen and went to the house. She peered in all the windows, but couldn’t find Johnny. She finally pushed her way inside, knocking over Johnny’s sake in the process. Horrified at the mess she’d made, Lulabell licked up all of the spilled wine.

The sake went straight to her head. Lulabell went outside and began running in circles. She started running up and down the street. Johnny looked at the window of the mint and saw his beloved Lulabell running free. Worried that something would happen to her, he called to her.

Lulabell was so happy to see her master that she rushed past the security guards, barged through the doors and headed to Johnny. Arriving at his work space, she danced around in a joyous state… until her hoof caught in the bin of approved dimes. Lulabell kicked instinctively, and dimes poured out, rolling down the hall and out the door. Frightened, Lulabell kicked again and again, spilling more and more coins. The mint was shut down for the day.

The local newspaper came to cover the story, of course, and the headline the next day read:

COW WITH SAKE LETS THE GOOD DIMES ROLL

Just in case you don’t get the reference, here’s a link to a very popular commercial from the 1970s.

Newspaper image courtesy of The Newspaper Clipping Generator