In reaction to my suggestion about divorce yesterday, I got some interesting pushback on Facebook. Since it was in a closed group, I’ll refrain from making direct quotes or naming the source. But this person said that, while my idea was nice in theory, divorce involves too many issues (property, issues with children, inheritance) that require legal enforceability.
At first I said, “Let the judges of this world sort out the property issues, etc.” But then I added, “Although I think Paul might have said let the church deal with those issues too. (1 Corinthians 6).”
Later I admitted that this man was absolutely right. And I think the church needs to be willing to address those issues as well.
Let me say, I think that the divorce rate in the church would plummet if couples thought they had to go before their Christian peers to request a divorce. And I hope that, in many cases, church leaders could help the couples resolve their problems, staving off a divorce.
In the few cases that would remain, I think the Bible tells us that we are better off having spiritual men judge such issues than to leave it to non-believers. We’re not used to dealing with such issues in the church, but in the ancient world that’s exactly what elders did. (“elders” in the sense commonly used back then, not just the church office) The church eldership was modeled off the concept of elders who served as civic leaders and judges. (See Ruth 4 for an example of that)
Obviously, this only works with Christians who value their Christianity more than their possessions, their rights, etc. It would require that both parties be committed to following the leading of the church leadership.
Is it ever going to happen in the U.S.? Seems doubtful. But it seems to me to be a spiritual approach to a spiritual problem.
I like the idea in theory here. I, too, think that if people had to come before their Christian peers for a divorce then the rate would plummet (at least for Christian marriages). I also think it would be great for the church to pick up the task of managing all the extracurriculars if divorce is unavoidable, in theory.
However, for this to happen, there would have to be a major culture shift in most churches. Our American worldview has, sadly, shifted into the lives of many Christians regarding leadership. In America, if we don’t like a leader we bash them with our words and then vote against them. Somehow, we think the church leadership is subject to the same ridicule. We think if we don’t like one elder, we’ll just choose to not follow what he says because we’re a free independent individual. And if that elder isn’t demoted in a timely fashion, we’ll just up and leave to the next congregation that suits our fancy. But that’s not the picture we see in the NT (namely, 1 Peter 5:5).
Why do I bring all of that up? Because if the church leadership is to take on this responsibility of handling the property, child support, etc., the church as a whole is going to have to agree that the church leadership has the authority to make such decisions. And I believe they do, since it is the Holy Spirit who appoints them to their leadership position (Acts 20:28).
Sorry I missed out on yesterday’s fun. Here’s my concern: For years “the church” was the center of authority on marriage and divorce. And through the years, we’ve seen how women were treated like second class citizens over and over again. The elders were men (or bishops or cardinals or whatever denominational title you want). They tended to side with men. Women didn’t have rights. I know of too many churches where that mindset still exists, including CoCs. Men count, women don’t, which is why women had to take to the courts to get the government to stand up for them. I think the idea of keeping marriage and divorce “in the church” is wonderful in theory, but I think the reality of our humanness is what led it to go outside the church in the first place. Plus, there’s the whole argument about the church as a corporate entity vs. a loose collection of individual Christians, what authority “the church” has (depends on the answer to the previous argument), and it all goes downhill from there. As for me, I’m just planning to stay married forever. Just thinking about everything associated with divorce wears me out!