Many of us have fond memories of dinner on the grounds, those times when church members would bring food to share and enjoy a time of fellowship. In fact, I’ve often heard it said that “fellowship” is a code word for food!
For many churches, those days are gone. In those places, the potluck is a thing of the past, something of an embarrassment from our history that we’d like to sweep under the rug. And that’s pretty sad.
Psychologist Paul Rozin compared the outlooks of North Americans and French people when it comes to food. For example, when showing both groups a picture of chocolate cake, the Americans tended to use the words “guilt” and “calories”; the French responded with “celebration” and “pleasure.” Food anxiety runs high in this country, and we’ve brought that into our churches.
I was on a committee that was discussing “care groups” in our congregation. During the discussion, the statement was often made: “And of course, we don’t have to eat together.” I did my best to push back, saying that yes, the church does need common meals. If our care groups aren’t going to break bread together, then we need to find a fellowship time to replace that.
The church needs to eat together. That needs to be a basic part of who we are. And even though it’s inconvenient and messy, I think we need to share our own food, not just go to a restaurant. We need to be involved in the preparation and the clean up. We need to learn what other families find appealing. We need to look one another in the eye and say, “God gave me this, and I want to share it with you.”
A few years ago, Jay Guin wrote the following on his blog:
And so I think we’ve managed to lose something ineffable but essential in our increasing preference for restaurants over the chaos of buffet tables and children feasting on limitless desserts with room to run.
I grew up in a pretty typical Church of Christ, and my fondest memories are of covered-dish dinners on the grounds — playing with friends and sampling foods from many different homes.
But even in a huge church, I think we need to find the time to eat together on a regular basis. You just don’t really know someone until you’ve tasted their banana pudding or three-bean casserole — and helped a new member who’ve never even met with her kids. I mean, food just has a way of bringing people together.
Now, as previously noted, we cannot let the social element of the church become the center of church. Rather, the common meal, the love feast, must grow out of our lives of mutual service. Therefore, you can’t go to a restaurant, because a restaurant has nothing to do with serving others. Rather, one of beauties of the covered dish meal is that each family has to work — to cook, to set up, to break down, to help with the kids.
Don’t hire a janitor or a cooking crew. Rather, think of the covered dish as a modern version of foot washing — a way to serve both symbolically and in reality. Bring more than your fair share if you can afford it, and don’t look askance as those who don’t bring anything.
Yeah. That.
Tim, love the thoughts. Our congregation has cut back on these, as well. I agree with the importance of eating together, common meals, love feasts, etc., but I see these dying off for a few reasons. One is that some seem to think these are “wrong” (If you love Jesus, you don’t need food every time you get together). Another is the view food has in our country, as noted in your article. A third is that people have just gotten anti-social and don’t want to stick around and “visit” with others anymore, or when they do, they only talk to their own family instead of reaching out to “God’s family”. Fifth, we don’t have time. And finally, people have forgotten the rules of the potluck: always bring enough for your own family. That way there is plenty for everyone. So many people just bring a 2 liter drink or a bag of chips and then want to enjoy the feast provided by everyone else. The effect has been that “everyone else” has gotten tired of feeding the masses. Times are tough. Just my observation. There are no doubt other reasons. I miss potlucks, and the spirit of fellowship and community that goes with it. We’re missing something when we don’t take time to share a table with our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Tim,
A few years back, I was struck by the number of times that feasting is treated in the law of Moses. In the Torah, it is repeatedly commanded and described in detail. In Deuteronomy, they were commanded to eat their annual tithe. It appears that God really wanted his people to feast with him.
We emphasize fasting as something spiritual, but in the Torah, and the rest of the Bible, it is never ever commanded or encouraged by God. In the Torah, Moses went 40 days without eating or drinking or the mountain with YHWH, which might be more of a comment on divine intervention than spiritual discipline. (I know of nobody who would advocate 40 days without liquid.) With the Day of Atonement, they were to debase themselves, and that has been taken by tradition to mean fasting. That is the only place that is cited to support the practice of fasting, and it is interpreted back into the text.
In the New Testament, Jesus left us with a memorial meal, that we appear to have reduced to a pinch of cracker and sip of juice, while we continue to call it a supper. Our deeds shout over our words.
Our potlucks may be the closest we ever come to true biblical worship and fellowship pleasing to God. It is an odd situation that he established a fellowship meal, that he wants his children to eat with him, but we can´t wait for the last, “Amen,” so get out to eat in our favorite restaurant, before it fills up.
Glad this is not missing from my experience of the church. Sorry for what you describe. To meet with our brothers and sisters and our dear Lord Jesus is a feast. The food is just the icing on the cake. But yeah, it’s good icing. Come and see.
Tim, some scattered thoughts: There seem to be some contextualized problem differences for us to share in the Table of the Lord when there are 500+ in assembly–as contrasted to first century house churches. You will probably work toward this topic in future posts. We also have life rhythms (the real problem, to me) that like neatly packaged 1 hr segments just like TV (except for sports venues). And, even though I am not in favor of the Communion on any other day, special weekly times (like a Sat AM prayer time, or a Thursday meal with two families) always have increased, enhanced spiritual importance for me, as opposed to living every day in “church” by being in fellowship and communication with brothers and sisters. This last point shifts the use of “communion”, yes, but still intends to capture the essence of spiritual commitment in fellowship and partnership in Christ.
We can nail other denominations on multiple issues. We know that a splash of water is not an immersion. We can define baptism to multiple decimal places, it doesn’t matter how emotional someone might feel about being sprinkled, we can point out how that is not immersion, and their emotions don’t make it so. On the other side, we have no problem redefining “supper” as a pinch of cracker and a sip of juice. It is an emotional solemn quiet time in the midst of our worship assembly, but to continue to call it “supper” speaks only to us. Try inviting anybody to your house some morning for supper and serving them our “supper”; when you try explaining it to them, you will have to work to get them to come back for another one. We like it the way we do it every first day of the week, and even if we understand that it may not be much of a love feast, we know it would be impossible to do it now like it was done, because of our large assemblies. We might sound a bit like the apostles when Jesus suggested that they feed the 5,000, or we might be giving arguments that would also support sprinkling.