Category Archives: Church

5 Reasons People Leave A Church

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When talking about people leaving a church, I know that there are times when that is done for a good reason, be it to withdraw from grievous doctrinal error or to avoid being a divisive element. But my experience shows that this is rarely the case.

Here are some of the main things I’ve seen:

  1. People “change churches” to attend a church which offers a ministry their former congregation doesn’t. This often involves something offered for their children, maybe a Sunday School program or a youth ministry. As long as the change is done in love, I don’t see this as a bad thing. It can be taken to an extreme, however. Some people make a habit of this, changing congregations numerous times over the years.
  2. People leave because they don’t like the preacher. People are often drawn to a church because of the preacher and leave for the same reason. The excuse is often given “I’m not being fed.” Personally, I don’t have a lot of respect for this one. Again, there can be extreme cases, but more often than not, this is a reflection of spiritual immaturity. It’s also a sign that we’ve placed way too much emphasis on the preacher.
  3. People leave because they don’t get their way. I guess power struggles are inherent in all human organizations. When we feel that our voice isn’t carrying the weight it should, we often look for a new area in which to voice our opinions.
  4. People leave because of sin in their own lives. This one is rarely admitted, but its more common than we might think. People have been found out or are afraid of being found out, so they go elsewhere. Congregations rarely communicate with one another about such cases, so the person is given a clean slate to work from. If the sin is being dealt with, that’s not bad. If this is merely part of hiding a sin, then the problem is obvious.
  5. People leave because their faith has grown cold. This is similar to the previous one, except that these people are running away from something good, something they used to be and aren’t willing to be anymore. They used to teach Bible class or lead singing or help with the youth, but have lost the spark and no longer want to be active. The easiest way to do that is to go somewhere where they don’t realize you once were more active than you are now.

Those are five of the more common reasons I can think of. Can you add to the list?

Unity for Christ’s sake

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Once again, the comments section on this blog is proving to be the most enlightening part. If you haven’t had a chance to do so, read over the comments from Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s posts. Lots of good, insightful discussion.

I’ve heard it said that David Lipscomb taught that it was a sin for a member of the churches of Christ not to attend the congregation closest to his home. (That would make sinners out of a lot of people in Abilene!) I see some merit in the idea. I think we’ve been too quick to find a congregation that fits our tastes rather than pausing to see if God is trying to shape our views through the people around us.

That’s a hard one for me to do, yet I fully believe that the Bible is to be interpreted in community. We tend to be very individualistic with our faith, be it concerning our salvation or be it about our beliefs. The Hebrew mindset was much more community oriented.

I’m not arguing for unity for unity’s sake. I’m arguing for unity for Christ’s sake. For the good of the body. Yes, there are critical issues on which we much agree, but none of these critical issues allows us to leave love by the wayside. (just ask the Ephesian church addressed in Revelation 2!) There will be extreme moments where separation is the only answer, but these should be few and far between.

In the United States, we often have the luxury of being able to leave one group to find another where we are more comfortable. I’m not sure that luxury has served the body well. I’m wondering if we wouldn’t do better if we were forced to try and work through our differences in love, forced to find reconciliation and restoration. In places where there are no alternatives, Christians are forced to stay together and learn to get along.

I’m largely preaching to me here, reminding myself of things that should never have been forgotten. When I get full of myself, believing that I have all the answers and that my way is the right way, I need to remember that those hard-headed, closed-minded people are the temple of the Holy Spirit. And maybe, just maybe, God has something to tell me through them.

(Any resemblance to persons now living or dead is purely coincidental)

The Fissiparous Church

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I came upon a quote from N.T. Wright that seems to speak to yesterday’s discussion:

It seems to be the case that the more you insist that you are based on the Bible, the more fissiparous you become; the church splits up into more and more little groups, each thinking that they have got biblical truth right.

I saw this quote in another context, but it comes from Wright’s excellent article titled “How Can The Bible Be Authoritative?” (Any quote that uses the word “fissiparous” has to be good!) I don’t have enough experience with other groups to speak to them, but Wright’s words certainly ring true about the churches of Christ.

As many have long said, hermeneutics are a big part of the problem; our approach to biblical interpretation is often flawed. (Especially among those who reject the idea of interpretation: “We don’t interpret the Bible, we just read it and do what it says.”)

But is that the whole problem? Philip’s analogy yesterday was helpful, talking about his relationship with his wife. Where there is love, all differences can be worked out. Where there is no love, any difference is grounds enough for separation.

The New Testament speaks more about love and unity than it does any other doctrinal issue. Unfortunately, we want to relativize those things. When a friend from the Boston Movement shared with me an article claiming that number of baptisms was the biblical standard of success for a church, I told him that unity was the biblical standard of success. He replied, “Yes, but it’s unity that comes from a common commitment to evangelism.”

Others claim that unity comes from complete doctrinal agreement. I disagree (which immediately puts me out of their circle). The early church maintained its unity despite doctrinal differences. When we place rightness over oneness, there is a division in our future.

Or am I off base? Yesterday’s comments were full of wisdom; I look forward to further guidance and necessary correction today.

Checklists, orthodoxy and leaving a church

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There’s a little questionnaire making the rounds of Church of Christ discussion groups on the Internet. I haven’t seen the original source, so I won’t mention who is said to be the author.

It’s titled “QUESTIONS FOR MY LIBERAL BRETHREN.” Most of the questions are in a yes/no format. Question #17 has multiple parts. I’ll paste it in here as I’ve seen it on other sites:

17. Which of the following practices do you think you nullify a congregation’s standing with God?
A. Use of sacred images and paintings in worship___ B. Use of holy water___ C. Burning incense____D. Use of clerical garments___ E. Communion with bread alone?____F. Communion with bread and water____G. Offering sprinkling or pouring for baptism___H. Speaking in unknown tongues___ I. People being “slain by the Spirit”___J. Instrumental music in worship____K. Praise by paid performers____L. Daily Communion____M. Communion observed with weddings and funerals___N. Communion as part of a potluck meal____O. Infant baptism___P. Woman preachers and elders_____Q. Charging for baptisms____R. Dancing for worship____S. Reciting the Nicean Creed___ T. Lighting sacred candles___ U. Singing or praying in Latin, Greek or Hebrew___ V. Expecting Holy Spirit baptism____W. Infant baptism___X. Making the communion service a sacrifice of the mass___

When this was posted to a group that I’m a part of, I pointed out that the items listed said more about this person’s bias than anything else. When challenged as to how I would “improve” the list, I suggested a few additions:

Owning a building
Paid preacher
Sunday school
Allow unscripturally divorced people to place membership or be baptized
Multiple cups in the Lord’s Supper
Homogenized grape juice in the Lord’s Supper
Use of non-KJV Bibles
Taking Lord’s Supper on Sunday night
Taking Lord’s Supper on ground floor
Support orphan’s homes
Support cooperative evangelistic efforts

There are members of the churches of Christ who would call others “liberal” for doing the things I’ve listed. If we’re going to offer an honest list for evaluation, shouldn’t we go beyond the things that we personally object to? Shouldn’t we list what others object to about us?

All of this got me to thinking about when and why I would leave a church. I want to explore some of that, but thought I’d ask my wise readers to guide me as I get started. When would you decide it necessary to leave a church? On what basis?

How would you go about it? Would you leave quietly or would you want others to know of your decision? Would you approach the leadership? Would you discuss it merely with a close circle of friends or would you contact as many people as possible?

Looking forward to your thoughts.

Was yesterday better?

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On Friday, Steve Teel made a comment on Thursday’s post, an insightful thought that doesn’t deserve to languish in the comment section. Steve is a former missionary to Argentina who now preaches for the Hendersonville Church of Christ in North Carolina.

Steve said:

Tim, what do you suppose would be the snap shoot, or the bullet points on the North American Christian movement 50 years ago? 1961?
1. Racism prevades the Christian church. A number of “Christians” participated in a recent lynching in South Carolina (actually happened), and vowed that the KKK was founded on Biblical principles.
2. Christian colleges are staunch on their segragation policies, “after all there are Black schools for them to attend.”
3. Despite the growing number of studies against smoking, a majority of Christian men smoke at least two packs a week.
4. In the churches of Christ, large numbers of churches are taking a stand against orphan homes. Outsiders see it as a power play, though long public debates defend the split on doctrinal reasons.
5. Spousal abuse remains a closet topic among Christians. A new study, however, indicates that beating a wife falls within the range bringing her into subjection as dictated in Ephesians 5.

That’s a great reminder. It’s easy to look at the church today and say, “Oh, things are getting so bad.” However, if we look objectively, each era has its own problems. It’s not that we have challenges today whereas there were none in other times. We have different challenges today.

Any thoughts? Would you add to Steve’s analysis of the church in 1961? Any thoughts about the implications of the fact that each generation faces a different set of challenges?

“Say not, “Why were the former days better than these?” For it is not from wisdom that you ask this.” (Ecclesiastes 7:10)