Back in the late 80’s, I read something that really made me think. I can’t remember if it was in a book by Eugene Peterson or one by Gordon MacDonald. Anyway, the author stated that when someone came to them for counseling, he assumed, until shown otherwise, that the person really wanted help in praying more effectively.
That really stuck with me. I think that many times that is what people really want, even if they aren’t aware of it. They want a closer relationship with God. They may be focused on this, that or the other, but what they really want is the feeling that they can talk to God and he will listen.
It’s a grave mistake to set yourself up as some kind of spiritual guru. Instead, present to the other person the fact that only God can really solve their problems, that you aren’t capable of doing so and the best thing you know to do is help them present their problem to God. Let them see your dependence on God. Help them see that neither you nor any other human is really able to solve their problems, that only God can ultimately take care of things. (It helps, of course, to believe in the power of prayer!)
That’s been a great lesson for me. And a great relief, for it takes the burden of being the world’s problem solver off of my back. I don’t have to be the solution; I just have to point them to the One that can solve anything.
I forget at times. I rack my brain trying to come up with solutions for everyone’s problems. I struggle to find the insightful words that will inspire or console or meet whatever need they have. I seek to be the perfect counsellor. And I forget the secret I learned a long time ago: