Well, what Boris Diaw can do, anyway

Have a great weekend!

I’ve read this in several different places over the years, never with attribution. If anyone can find the original author, I’d love to give credit:

Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device

Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device, otherwise known as the BOOK.

It’s a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It’s so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere — even sitting in an armchair by the fire — yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disk.

Here’s how it works: each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. By using both sides of each sheet, manufacturers are able to cut costs in half.

Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. The BOOK may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it. The “Browse” feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Most come with an “index” feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional “BOOKmark” accessory allows you to open the BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session — even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.

Portable, durable and affordable, the BOOK is the entertainment wave of the future, and many new titles are expected soon, due to the surge in popularity of its programming tool, the Portable Erasable-Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language stylus [PENCIL].

So, if you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m one of those people. There’s all sorts of names for it… some nice, some not so nice.

Once I’m told that a certain way is right, it’s hard for me to put up with things being done the wrong way. I worked at a men’s clothing store over one summer and during several Christmas holidays. There I learned all sorts of “right” things, like which way clothes should face on a hanger, the fact that you never button a suit coat or sports coat when it’s hanging, etc. Now those things bug me if they’re done differently.

Where people like me really get annoying is with grammar and spelling. For us, the confusion of words like “you’re” and “your” should be punishable by death. The use of mixed verbs like “we had went” makes our skin crawl. There are even some “correct” forms that I won’t use because they sound so strange: “If I were he, I would go.” But I have to think them in my head, even if I rarely if ever use the word “whom.”

Fortunately, my wife is much the same way, at least as far as grammar and spelling are concerned. She worked for a while as a proofreader, which let her put this tendency to good use. (And that’s pretty amazing since she was proofreading in her second language, not her native tongue) She posted a photo on her Facebook yesterday, taken from grammarly.com. It captures the essence of romance for the grammar obsessed:

Saw this posted on Facebook by someone from Buenos Aires:

Translation:
A Coffee: 14 pesos
A Coffee, Please: 12 pesos
Good morning. A Coffee, Please: 9 pesos

Don’t you love it?

If you haven’t run across the “Project Cartoon,” it’s a classic that you need to get acquainted with. Here’s a fairly new version:

Now here’s the fun part. This cartoon comes from a site called ProjectCartoon.com. There you can create your own cartoon about whatever topic you wish. Could be helpful for a presentation somewhere. There’s been a similar meme on Facebook using photos, but I like the looks of the cartoon.

Have fun!