I’ve long felt that the best preaching I do is done when I speak to needs that I have. When I try to guess what other people need, I don’t often do well. But when I tell others how God has spoken to me through his word, it’s common that other people feel the same need that I do.
As I work on seeking God, I’m rereading a rather long letter I wrote to this friend who was contemplating leaving his family. Since he was trying to justify it biblically, he wanted to enter into a debate on some texts. Instead, I tried to turn the focus to seeking God. Here are the steps I recommended to him:
(1) You have to want to get closer and closer to God. You feel the need for a relationship in your life. You need God. It’s a void that only He can fill. When He’s not there, we try to fill that void with other things and none of them do it fully. So, let me suggest that you make getting closer to God THE goal right now, not just a goal.
(2) People know that they need to read, but most of us aren’t at the point where we can even hear the voice of God when we read the Bible. What can you do when you feel like that? Back up a step and pray. Pray about that. Something like, “God, I want to seek you and don’t know how. I need your help. I want to learn to hear your voice, to feel your presence and to truly live a relationship with you.” Tell him about your anger, your feelings, your frustrations. Tell him everything. Accuse him, criticize him, shout at him. Don’t feel one thing in your heart and pray another thing with your lips. Include confession, ask for forgiveness for those feelings, but don’t hide them from Him. (Remember that there is a mix of relationships in prayer: child-parent, servant-master, subject-king, creature-creator, friend-friend) Then stop and listen. Listen. Quietly. You may not “hear him” at first. You may not feel any closer to him for having prayed like that. That’s normal. Relationships take time.
(3) I’d suggest for now that you focus on the Psalms. Try and explore the range of feelings that are expressed there. Remember, you’re trying to learn to feel God, to experience Him. This goes beyond intellectual knowledge. You need Him in your heart, and you need Him there desperately. Look at the things that men went through: the times of waiting expectantly, the times of feeling like God had abandoned them, the times of triumphant joy, the times of heartfelt repentance. Look at all those emotions and try to experience them.
(4) Take all of those emotions and apply them to your prayer life. When you begin to feel that you can “pray yourself into the presence of God,” then you are ready to open His word and seek His will for your life. Until then, it’s merely intellectual speculation. When you are ready to go to God and accept ANYTHING He has to say to you, then you are ready to listen to His voice. Until doing what He wants becomes THE most important thing in your life, serious Bible study will do you no good.
Anyway, those are some suggested first steps. For most of us, it is extremely difficult to realize any real changes in our lives until we get to the heart of the matter. If we can change our hearts, our behavior will be what it should be, our emotions will flow as they should, our goals will have the correct focus, etc. If we start with those “outer” things without connecting our hearts to God, we are trying to do what is almost impossible.

Looking back, I wonder why I haven’t done a better job of taking my own advice! I get so rational in my Christianity that I often forget the emotional side, the spiritual side. What corrections would you make in the advice I gave my friend? [Edit: Advice about seeking God] What would you add?

It’s an embarrassing thing to have to admit, but sometimes I lose sight of something as basic as seeking God. I get caught up in church work, in doctrinal debates, in the hustle and bustle of everyday life, and I forget about seeking God.

A few years ago, I interviewed for a ministerial position, one that I really wanted. [And no, the church wasn’t large and the money wasn’t good. My motives were others.] I prayed fervently. I could remember nothing in the last 10 years that I had wanted so desperately. It came down to where I almost got the job, but didn’t get it. I was crushed.

In my disappointment, I began to wrestle with the meaning of this verse: “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalms 37:4) Why wasn’t I getting this fervent desire of my heart? After a time, it came to me: the second half of that verse is dependent on the first half. I had to make God my greatest delight, make him the greatest desire of my heart, for him to be able to give me the desires of my heart. Once he is in the top spot, once he is the most fervent desire that I have, other desires fall into place. Some become, well, undesirable. Others are replaced by something even better. And many of them become reality.

A few years ago, when writing to someone close to me who was contemplating leaving his family, I wrote the following:

I think the priority for your life right now has to be seek God, to hunger and thirst for Him “as the deer pants for the water.” Half-hearted Christianity is a miserable experience, where you get all the “THOU SHALT NOTs” and none of the blessings. You get the guilt without the forgiveness, the suffering without the comfort, the responsibilities without the blessings. And the more we focus on just trying to get the forgiveness and the comfort and the blessings, the more we get the other stuff. Because our focus has to be on getting God, not on getting what He can give us.

And I agree with myself. :-) At this point in my life, I need that reminder: it’s time to seek God, with all my heart.