In this series on affirmations about marriage, the sixth affirmation is:
Living together without marriage is outside of God’s plan.
Here we have an area where society has definitely changed. Marriage has become optional for many. It’s something to be done “somewhere down the road” or not at all. Many feel that the commitments that come with marriage actually stifle true love.
To the surprise of some, the Bible says little about how you get married. For Adam and Eve, it was a natural consequence of them being the only two people around. For Isaac, it was a matter of taking Rebekah into his mother’s tent. Over time, the Jews developed a series of traditions around marriage; weddings were a community event, with the celebration going on for days.
Here’s what all weddings had in common: the man and the woman presented themselves as not being married before it happened and as being married afterward. There was a spoken or unspoken statement of permanence and commitment. Society recognized the change in status from single to married.
What’s lacking in cohabitation without marriage is not the ceremony nor the license. It’s the commitment. It’s the statement to each other, to God, and to the world in general that a man and a woman will be together until death.
I believe that a couple should obey local customs and local laws when getting married. There should be no doubt in anyone’s mind that this woman and this man have pledged to be together for the rest of their lives, that they have decided to let God make one inseparable being out of the two. They are to make a covenant, with God as chief witness. Living together doesn’t meet up to this standard.
Affirmation #6: Living together without marriage is outside of God’s plan.
Photo from MorgueFile.com
Tim,
Not entirely sure what you have in mind by “should obey locals customs and local laws.” Some couples deliberately avoid legalizing their marriage on account of avoiding state interference in sanctity issues. Have they done something wrong? (i suppose in some states, they will eventually be recognized as common law married anyway.) Perhaps some people would have accountability worries, but it’s not as though the state is the only possible mechanism for marriage accountability.
“Local customs” seems really hard to imagine given the melting pot of America. Even in my own neighborhood a diversity of cultures (and thus customs) are represented.
–guy
Guy,
I haven’t seen a valid justification for avoiding complying with civil authorities on marriage requirements. I’m not saying I’ll never see one; I just haven’t seen one yet. I guess I should have mentioned that possibility.
As for customs, I just mean to do the things that are required to be recognized by society as being married. I’m not saying you have to have a big church wedding with white dress or a reception with cake and punch. I’m just saying that our testimony to our neighbors is important. If someone asks me how I got married, I don’t think saying, “I took her into my mother’s tent, like Isaac did” is sufficient to show that I respect marriage.
es solo cuestión de costumbres por ejemplo en nuestro país la etnia de los wayu, ellos no hacen los mismos ritos tradicionales que nosotros hacemos y mucho menos van al registro civil simplemente se juntan y ya, y hoy dia hemos visto a estos indigenas con mas de 50 años de casados ante Dios y sus leyes mucho mas estables que los matrimonios de papel¡¡¡¡¡