…the preacher’s daughter who was getting baptized, stuck her foot into the water and uttered an execration that could be heard all the way to the back of the auditorium?

…the preacher who found the “waders” in the baptistery to be a bit loose, so he tied them off at the waist? When he entered the water, the waders filled up with air. The man found himself floating on top of the water…

…the visiting preacher who performed a baptism, then exited the wrong side of the baptistery? The quickest way to get back to his clothes was to do a quick swim across the baptistery (dressed only in his boxers). That’s when he discovered the plexiglass on the front side of the baptistery…

A few I know to be true…

• A friend of mine, while attending Pepperdine University, baptized someone in the Pacific. As he put the person under the water, a big wave came in. The new convert surfaced about 20 feet away…
• Another friend told me about a man who, coming out of the water at his baptism, began to exclaim, “I feel it. I feel the Holy Spirit.” This was not “that type” of church, and everyone present was a bit embarrassed. Later, someone stuck their finger in the water and got a shock, an electric shock. Turns out there was a short in the heating unit. The minister, wearing rubber waders, didn’t get shocked and grounded the person being baptized until he released him after the baptism. That’s when the man “got the Spirit”…
• I was baptizing a man in a swollen river in the city of Córdoba, Argentina. We were trying to find a safe place to baptize him. I pointed to one spot and asked, “What if you sit down there?” “I’ll ___ on myself from the cold water!” he replied. I decided that we would have time to teach him about profanity after his baptism…

OK, that’s a start. Does anybody have any baptism stories to share?