I’ve read this in several different places over the years, never with attribution. If anyone can find the original author, I’d love to give credit:
Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device
Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device, otherwise known as the BOOK.
It’s a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It’s so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere — even sitting in an armchair by the fire — yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disk.
Here’s how it works: each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. By using both sides of each sheet, manufacturers are able to cut costs in half.
Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. The BOOK may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it. The “Browse” feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Most come with an “index” feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.
An optional “BOOKmark” accessory allows you to open the BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session — even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.
Portable, durable and affordable, the BOOK is the entertainment wave of the future, and many new titles are expected soon, due to the surge in popularity of its programming tool, the Portable Erasable-Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language stylus [PENCIL].
I have been attracted to books since kindergarten. When Etexts became popular, I avoided this new way to books. From my very first computer, I’ve had an aversion to reading monitor displayed text, thus I killed a bunch of trees by printing the text so I could read it anywhere/anytime.
Then my wife began dialysis. We got her a Kindle to read during the sessions. She found sleep the preferred session activity. After her death the Kindle was passed on to my sister. I did give in later and bought another Kindle which has become my primary method of reading. The immediate access to thousands of pages saves wearing a backpack filled with heavy books. I still buy the occasional reference book which takes its place on the appropriate shelf of my library. Long live Etext!
What a novel idea!