It’s Friday… time for a bit of punishment. No full-blown jokes today, just a few bad puns:

At a convention, Mike Carruthers had lost his two-way pager. Thinking someone might have picked it up by accident, he decided to send a message, warning the other person that they might have the wrong beeper. He wrote: “Am I Mike Carruthers’ beeper?”

A vulture was getting on a plane with a piece of roadkill under each wing. The flight attendant looked at the vulture and said, “I’m sorry, only one carrion per passenger.”

Archaeologists were exploring some old towers in Babylon. They were about to enter one, when a soldier stopped them. He said that his company had searched the area, and their commander had warned that there was still some danger in the area. He said that if the scientists saw any signs of smoke, they were to leave at once. One archaeologist noted in his records: “Warning: The searchin’ general has determined that smoking ziggurats is hazardous to your health.“