It’s Friday… time for a bit of punishment. No full-blown jokes today, just a few bad puns:

When the daycare workers couldn’t get the kids to take their naps, they finally called the police. The children were cited for resisting a rest.

The midget fortune teller wandered off from the circus. The notice went out that there was a small medium at large.

Joan was grateful to the exorcist who had cast the demons out of her. But she balked when he handed her a bill. He offered her a payment plan, but warned her: “Miss three payments and you’ll be repossessed.”

Two thieves fell while climbing through the skylight at the furniture factory. One fell into the upholstery machine and is now fully recovered. The other fell into a vat of glue and is now a hardened criminal.

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the boat. Not surprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him… a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.