Tag Archives: church

Field Guide to Church Fauna: The Blustery Sloth

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The Blustery Sloth (blabbingus et boringus) is truly a wondrous creature. Blessed with amazing lung capacity, the sloth can literally talk for hours, nonstop. Virtually incapable of other physical activity, the sloth has a great capacity for oratory, mimicking intelligent speech in a most convincing way.

The Blustery Sloth seeks to meet every challenge with vocal strategies; any problem to be solved is greeted with “We should have a class on that” or “A good sermon will fix everything.” Suggestions of physical action are meet with artful filibuster; the sloth is willing to talk about anything, but unwilling to act on anything.

Attempts to force the sloth into action will prove counterproductive. The only successful way to guide this creature to overcome inertia is through gentle prodding and constant example. Praise and understanding go a long way when dealing with this sluggish critter.

Field Guide to Church Fauna: Frenzied Trendsuckers

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The Frenzied Trendsuckers (bandwagonae jumponicus) are a fast-moving member of the bird family. They are continually chasing after shiny objects, principally the newest trends and latest fads. They live in search of a new and better flock of which to be a part of.

The Trendsucker can be recognized by its distinctive call, including sounds like “new,” “latest,” and “what the church should have been all along.” They are often carrying books with titles like “The Post-evangelical Neo-missional Re-emergent Movement.” They will respond to terms like “senior minister” or “church planter,” but will not respond to traditional calls like “preacher” or “pulpit minister.”

Young Frenzied Trendsuckers do not do well in captivity, though older ones can be domesticated over time. Once domesticated, the Trendsucker is completely rejected by his wild counterparts.

Unfortunately, Trendsuckers can often be very agressive toward species similar to themselves. Only with great patience can Frenzied Trendsuckers be brought to share living space with other species.

Field Guide to Church Fauna: The Finger-Wagging Naysayer

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The Finger-Wagging Naysayer (pessimistus perpetua) is a gentle creature, except in the presence of ideas that are seen to be new or different. In the presence of these perceived threats, the Naysayer transforms, moving in quickly to attack these ideas motivated merely by self-preservation.

The Naysayer depends on camouflage and deception, being easily confused with the Thoughtful Participant. Over time, it’s not hard to tell the two apart, but at first glance, they are strikingly similar in appearance. Once spotted, the Naysayer can be rendered harmless, with their attacks being avoided with ease.

Individual Naysayers vary in their style of attack. Some attack viciously, using intimidation and fear to increase the effectiveness of their actions. Others use a hynoptic, almost imperceptible motion to disarm their opponent without even seeming to be roused from their slumber.

The principal weapon of the Naysayer is its acute sense of history. It uses to its advantage one simple fact: every idea has either been tried before or it hasn’t. If the idea has been tried before, the Naysayer quickly jabs with, “We tried that before. Didn’t work.” If the idea hasn’t been done before, the response is even more vigourous: “We’ve never done things like that.” The follow-up knockout blow is often: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”

The Naysayer can be tamed with large amounts of love and optimism.

{photo by Nehrams2020}

Structuring our services: your thoughts

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I’ve been thinking some about our assemblies. Specifically, I’ve been thinking about the structure of said assemblies. I’d like to hear some opinions about the structure of our worship.

How spontaneous do you think we should be? I know some of that has to do with the size of a congregation, but there’s more to it than that. I’ve heard people argue that we have to leave room for spontaneity to allow the Holy Spirit to work (a la 1 Corinthians 14). Others feel that we need structure and planning.

In the same way, to what degree do we try to address different worship views? I don’t mean extreme things, which in our fellowship would tend to refer to instruments and participation by women. I’m talking about things like spontaneous vs. structured, traditional vs. modern, formal vs. informal. One answer some congregations have tried is having multiple services, each with its own personality. Others try and keep things varied within one service.

The other question that I wrestle with is: have we given these sorts of issues too much importance? Do we spend too much time focused on our assemblies, to the neglect of other things?

Those are some thoughts for a Monday morning. I’d like to hear your views.

Forsaking the assembling

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“Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:25)

This verse made my top ten proof text list. As I pointed out then, it’s often misquoted, with people talking about “forsaking the assembly.” It becomes about being in the building “at each appointed time,” rather than an exhortation for Christians to seek out chances to be with one another.

I don’t see the writer as approaching this from a legal standpoint. It’s no more a law than is “draw near to God” (verse 22) He’s not trying to establish a new commandment about attending church meetings.

I’ve compared it to the owner’s manual of your car saying that you need to change the oil. Not a rule. Not a law. But pretty foolish not to follow what it says.

So what’s the difference between a law and instructions on the best way to live? I see a difference, if only in how we react to such things. When we make a rule out of “not forsaking the assembling,” for example, we can get to what some do: show up, take the Lord’s Supper and leave. They’ve followed the rule. When we look at “not forsaking the assembling” as something that has a function in our spiritual walk, as a necessary something for our well being, we won’t have to be prodded to be there.

I’ve seen guys that were required to attend AA meetings. Few of them got anything out of it. Others choose to be there because they know they need it. They won’t miss if at all possible.

Teach your kids that the Bible is a bunch of rules and they’ll spend their lives looking for loopholes. Show your kids that the Bible teaches you the secrets of how to live and they’ll spend their lives looking for insight.

I believe in the importance of meeting together. I believe that Christians need to teach this importance to one another. But not as a law like those given at Mt. Sinai. It should be taught as what is necessary for keeping our faith strong.