Tag Archives: Humor

Would you like to be in Star Wars?

So how would you like to help make a Star Wars movie? OK, not one of the ones that will be shown in theaters. You can help remake The Empire Strikes Back as a fan tribute film by visiting www.starwarsuncut.com. You claim 15 seconds of the film, then recreate it in the manner you want: live action, claymation, puppets, dogs in costumes… whatever your imagination calls for.

They’ve already done the first movie, A New Hope. If you’ve got a couple of hours to watch it, it looks hilarious. I’ve only seen a few minutes, but it’s really quite a hoot.

Here it is:

What you can do with Lego

Well, what Boris Diaw can do, anyway

Have a great weekend!

Exciting New Product!

newI’ve read this in several different places over the years, never with attribution. If anyone can find the original author, I’d love to give credit:

Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device

Announcing the new Built-in Orderly Organized Knowledge device, otherwise known as the BOOK.

It’s a revolutionary breakthrough in technology: no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected or switched on. It’s so easy to use even a child can operate it. Just lift its cover. Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere — even sitting in an armchair by the fire — yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM disk.

Here’s how it works: each BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. These pages are locked together with a custom-fit device called a binder which keeps the sheets in their correct sequence. By using both sides of each sheet, manufacturers are able to cut costs in half.

Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly into your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet. The BOOK may be taken up at any time and used by merely opening it. The “Browse” feature allows you to move instantly to any sheet, and move forward or backward as you wish. Most come with an “index” feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.

An optional “BOOKmark” accessory allows you to open the BOOK to the exact place you left it in a previous session — even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards; thus a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs by various manufacturers.

Portable, durable and affordable, the BOOK is the entertainment wave of the future, and many new titles are expected soon, due to the surge in popularity of its programming tool, the Portable Erasable-Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language stylus [PENCIL].

For the grammar obsessed

So, if you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m one of those people. There’s all sorts of names for it… some nice, some not so nice.

Once I’m told that a certain way is right, it’s hard for me to put up with things being done the wrong way. I worked at a men’s clothing store over one summer and during several Christmas holidays. There I learned all sorts of “right” things, like which way clothes should face on a hanger, the fact that you never button a suit coat or sports coat when it’s hanging, etc. Now those things bug me if they’re done differently.

Where people like me really get annoying is with grammar and spelling. For us, the confusion of words like “you’re” and “your” should be punishable by death. The use of mixed verbs like “we had went” makes our skin crawl. There are even some “correct” forms that I won’t use because they sound so strange: “If I were he, I would go.” But I have to think them in my head, even if I rarely if ever use the word “whom.”

Fortunately, my wife is much the same way, at least as far as grammar and spelling are concerned. She worked for a while as a proofreader, which let her put this tendency to good use. (And that’s pretty amazing since she was proofreading in her second language, not her native tongue) She posted a photo on her Facebook yesterday, taken from grammarly.com. It captures the essence of romance for the grammar obsessed:

text messages

Politeness pays

Saw this posted on Facebook by someone from Buenos Aires:


Discount for being polite

Translation:
A Coffee: 14 pesos
A Coffee, Please: 12 pesos
Good morning. A Coffee, Please: 9 pesos

Don’t you love it?