Tag Archives: interpersonal relationships

How not to impress me

If you want to try and impress me, don’t try and impress me. The person who comes to me and tells me how rich they are, how educated they are, what amazing insights they have into a given situation, or any other sort of boasting… that person will have to work hard to gain my respect.

A boss can gain my obedience; he’ll not get my loyalty. The self-proclaimed expert may get my attention; he’ll never capture my imagination. Someone who tells me how rich and powerful they are will only make me see how insecure they are.

Doesn’t that line up with things Jesus said? The first shall be last. The servant will be greatest. “For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Show me that you are a learner. That you are a servant. That you are secure enough in yourself that you don’t have to tell me how wonderful you are. That you’re willing to wait for others to recognize what you have to offer.

Then I’ll be much more likely to respect and admire you.

There’s always another side to the story

US-00010-One_Cent_(1974)_AluminumAlong the lines of yesterday’s post, I need to say that every story has at least two ways of telling it. I hear elders talk about ministers that were lazy or manipulative. I hear ministers talk about elders that made decisions for no good reason. I hear church members say that leadership has chosen to abandon the Bible or chosen to appease complainers. And I know that there is another side to each of those stories.

Few ministers set out to shirk their duties or destroy the church. It’s rare that an eldership decides that a ministry is doing too much good for the Kingdom and must be stopped. The vast majority of those in church leadership want to do what’s right and best for the church.

There are evil people with bad intentions. Even good people can do things for the wrong reasons; I can look back and see times when I was motivated by jealousy or selfishness. But many times, conflict results out of a lack of understanding between the two parties involved, not any desire to cause harm.

If you set up a website asking women to tell how they’ve been mistreated by men, you’d have no trouble filling it with anecdotes of woe. If you asked men to tell of times when women have done wrong by them, you’d get an equally long list. Ask members to complain about ministers, ministers about elders, elders about staff… you’ll have no trouble determining that lots of Christians have grievances.

But don’t forget that there’s always another side to the story. If you hear it, you just might see things differently