Tag Archives: leaving a church

How Preachers Can Disrupt A Church

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I said yesterday that I would talk a bit more about preachers and congregational dissatisfaction. I’m sure that any preachers that read that were excitedly looking forward to getting dumped on. And I could do that, I guess. But a lot of the problems that come up aren’t the fault of preachers.

For example, so many churches seem to live and die by how exciting the preacher is. Skilled preachers can fill pews; bad preachers can drive them away. I don’t really know how to change that, apart from encouraging preachers to do the best they can. It’s another aspect of how we do church that I don’t find to be healthy. Too much focuses on the assembly, and too much of the assembly focuses on the preacher.

Most preachers wrestle with what one book called “the drum major” tendency. It’s the desire to be up front and leading that often makes them good at what they do; it’s the same desire that can cripple a church.

Much of the health of a congregation has to do with the behind the scenes things that a preacher does. Visiting people is a vital part of a minister’s contribution to a healthy church. Counseling. Studying the Bible with outsiders. So many of these things go unseen, yet are so important.

Anyway, here are some things that I see that a preacher can do that lead to congregational dissatisfaction:

  • Be lazy in study
  • Be unbalanced in preaching, focusing on the same topics time and again
  • Be insensitive with change. All Christians need to be changing and growing. Preachers, however, can be impatient and push congregations to change too much, too fast.
  • Be indifferent to a lack of change
  • Display a sense of entitlement. In most congregations, people naturally reach out to preachers in a loving way. When preachers take that for granted, it hurts a church.
  • Fall prey to one of the three major temptations of preachers: girls, gold and glory. Preachers need to be above reproach in their dealings with women and money. And they need to constantly check their motives to escape the trap of seeking recognition.
  • Join in power struggles within the congregation
  • Follow the fads more than the Lord
  • Preach the truth to a congregation that doesn’t want to hear it
  • Preach the truth in an unloving way

Those are some that come to mind. What else can you think of?

Who are the shepherds of the church?

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Since several of my readers are preachers (or have played one on TV), I feel the need to speak to the role preachers play in people leaving a given congregation. Preachers have always had an influential role in our brotherhood; there has been a conscious effort over the last few decades to give them even more power. For the record, I’m against it.

It reminds me a bit of the situation of Israel in the days of Samuel. “We want a king like all the nations around us.” We want to make our preachers pastors, senior pastors! This will help us to be like the churches around us. Just as it was a terrible idea back then, it’s a terrible idea today.

It’s interesting to me that about the time the business world moved away from the “Lone Ranger at the top” model, churches decided that was the way to go. Businesses moved to collaborative leadership; churches moved away.

I support the elder model, where the elders lead. Ideally, the ministers provide biblical teaching, helping the pastors to feed the flock. But the elders remain the ones responsible for the congregation.

A big reason for this has to do with tenure. Preachers come and go. There are exceptions, but by and large, preachers are at a congregation for a relatively short amount of time in the history of that congregation. A healthy congregation will have continuity in the eldership, consistently raising up new men to serve alongside those who are already there.

I remember one congregation that I love that went through a rough time back in the 1980s. A minister came in (associate minister) and pushed for the congregation to create a detailed vision statement. This led to months of committee meetings, with almost everyone in the congregation stating their opinion as to where the church should be going. Discussions became heated and hard feelings were created. Finally, a vision statement was created. I don’t know that the ink was dry on that statement before the minister that started the whole process had taken another job. What he left behind was the heartache and strained relationships.

I’ll say a bit more tomorrow about the role of preachers in congregational dissatisfaction. But for now, I’d like to hear your thoughts on elder-led congregations versus minister-led congregations.

5 Valid Reasons For Leaving A Church

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It’s time to look at the other side. What are some good reasons for leaving a church? (Or changing congregations, if you prefer the terminology. We’re not talking about leaving the Church, as in leaving Jesus’ body, but in leaving a local church).

Here are some that come to mind (and yes, I’m stealing some of these from the comments):

  1. The church is teaching heresy. I believe this is claimed far more often than actually occurs, but there can be a time when a congregation comes to teach things that go against the core of what our faith is. The time can come for sorrowful separation.
  2. The church won’t respect a difference of conviction. A friend of mine became involved in a house church network. The leaders were strongly Calvinistic and were concerned because my friend isn’t. My friend agreed to allow them to do an in-depth study of the topic with him. When they had finished their study, my friend remained unconvinced. This was unacceptable to these leaders, and my friend was eventually forced to leave.
  3. My presence is divisive. If I should determine that there is a spirit of division within a congregation and that spirit would not be present if I were not there, I pray that God would give me the courage to leave.
  4. My spiritual health (or that of my family) is in danger. This can be an especially hard call, but I do believe that someone can be in a state of spiritual weakness to where they can’t survive in certain environments. This is often associated with new Christians, but can affect different people at different times. Again, this is an extreme.
  5. I’m leaving to go aid somewhere else. We had this come up at the previous congregation that I worked with. One couple had stopped attending. I went to visit them, and they said they were wanting to aid a nearby struggling congregation. I told them that as long as they were going toward something and not running away from something, that I fully supported them. (They were back the next Sunday and have attended consistently since then)

Those should be enough to start with. Help me round out the list. Other reasons have been mentioned the last few days; feel free to repeat some of those.

5 Reasons People Leave A Church

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When talking about people leaving a church, I know that there are times when that is done for a good reason, be it to withdraw from grievous doctrinal error or to avoid being a divisive element. But my experience shows that this is rarely the case.

Here are some of the main things I’ve seen:

  1. People “change churches” to attend a church which offers a ministry their former congregation doesn’t. This often involves something offered for their children, maybe a Sunday School program or a youth ministry. As long as the change is done in love, I don’t see this as a bad thing. It can be taken to an extreme, however. Some people make a habit of this, changing congregations numerous times over the years.
  2. People leave because they don’t like the preacher. People are often drawn to a church because of the preacher and leave for the same reason. The excuse is often given “I’m not being fed.” Personally, I don’t have a lot of respect for this one. Again, there can be extreme cases, but more often than not, this is a reflection of spiritual immaturity. It’s also a sign that we’ve placed way too much emphasis on the preacher.
  3. People leave because they don’t get their way. I guess power struggles are inherent in all human organizations. When we feel that our voice isn’t carrying the weight it should, we often look for a new area in which to voice our opinions.
  4. People leave because of sin in their own lives. This one is rarely admitted, but its more common than we might think. People have been found out or are afraid of being found out, so they go elsewhere. Congregations rarely communicate with one another about such cases, so the person is given a clean slate to work from. If the sin is being dealt with, that’s not bad. If this is merely part of hiding a sin, then the problem is obvious.
  5. People leave because their faith has grown cold. This is similar to the previous one, except that these people are running away from something good, something they used to be and aren’t willing to be anymore. They used to teach Bible class or lead singing or help with the youth, but have lost the spark and no longer want to be active. The easiest way to do that is to go somewhere where they don’t realize you once were more active than you are now.

Those are five of the more common reasons I can think of. Can you add to the list?

Unity for Christ’s sake

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Once again, the comments section on this blog is proving to be the most enlightening part. If you haven’t had a chance to do so, read over the comments from Tuesday’s and Wednesday’s posts. Lots of good, insightful discussion.

I’ve heard it said that David Lipscomb taught that it was a sin for a member of the churches of Christ not to attend the congregation closest to his home. (That would make sinners out of a lot of people in Abilene!) I see some merit in the idea. I think we’ve been too quick to find a congregation that fits our tastes rather than pausing to see if God is trying to shape our views through the people around us.

That’s a hard one for me to do, yet I fully believe that the Bible is to be interpreted in community. We tend to be very individualistic with our faith, be it concerning our salvation or be it about our beliefs. The Hebrew mindset was much more community oriented.

I’m not arguing for unity for unity’s sake. I’m arguing for unity for Christ’s sake. For the good of the body. Yes, there are critical issues on which we much agree, but none of these critical issues allows us to leave love by the wayside. (just ask the Ephesian church addressed in Revelation 2!) There will be extreme moments where separation is the only answer, but these should be few and far between.

In the United States, we often have the luxury of being able to leave one group to find another where we are more comfortable. I’m not sure that luxury has served the body well. I’m wondering if we wouldn’t do better if we were forced to try and work through our differences in love, forced to find reconciliation and restoration. In places where there are no alternatives, Christians are forced to stay together and learn to get along.

I’m largely preaching to me here, reminding myself of things that should never have been forgotten. When I get full of myself, believing that I have all the answers and that my way is the right way, I need to remember that those hard-headed, closed-minded people are the temple of the Holy Spirit. And maybe, just maybe, God has something to tell me through them.

(Any resemblance to persons now living or dead is purely coincidental)