It’s Friday! But don’t worry, I’m not going to pun-ish you today. Instead, how about exploring the world of light bulb jokes?

What’s a light bulb joke? I’m glad you asked, because I was able to find a good explanation over at lightbulbjokes.com:

Light Bulb Jokes: [n.1] {Ly-t Bul-b Jo-k-s}
Definition of: How many (name of group of people/persons) does it take to change a light bulb ?

Answer: (A finite positive integer F) One to change the bulb, and the rest to (behave in a manner stereotypical of their group) or (say something stereotypical of their group in certain situations)

Note: If F<2 then the joke can still be extremely funny, but you will probably need to choose a different generating formula. Where F=0, particular cleverness is required.

In my world, the lightbulb jokes started as an Aggie joke (Aggies being graduates of Texas A&M). It went as follows:

Q: How many Aggies does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five. One to hold the bulb, four to turn the ladder.

That joke spawned a cottage industry of jokes, such as:

Q: How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but the bulb has to really want to change.

Q: How many college athletes does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but they get course credit for it.

Q: How many real men does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Real men aren’t afraid of the dark.

Q: How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb?
A: “Oh you two just run along and have fun. I’ll sit here in the dark.”

Of particular interest to the readers of this blog, however, would be the religious light bulb jokes (I’ve seen different versions; we’ll stick with the ones I found at lightbulbjoke.com):

Q: How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: CHANGE???????

Q: How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read out the instructions and pray the light bulb will decide to change itself.

Q: How many Anglicans or Catholics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They always use candles.

Q: How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one since his/her hands are in the air anyway.

Q: How many Episcopalians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Ten. One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much they liked the old one.

Q: How many fundamentalists or does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one because anymore would be compromise and ecumenical standards of light would slip.

Q: How many liberals does it take to change a light Bulb?
A: At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the existence of the light bulb they still may not change it to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of light.

Q: How many Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: We choose not to make a statement of either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal relationship to your light bulb and present it next month at our annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-lived, and tinted; all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence through Jesus Christ.

Q: How many neo-evangelicals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: No one knows. They can’t tell the difference between light and darkness.

Q: How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Ten. One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Q: How many televangelists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, but for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.

And last, but not least…

Q: How many members of the church of Christ does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The light bulb is not an authorized part of our assemblies. From Acts 20, we learn that the early church used lamps, and we have no scriptural warrant for using anything else. Furthermore, should you choose to fellowship the liberal light bulb change agents, we will be unable to extend unto you the right hand of fellowship.