Tag Archives: marriage vows

Breaking marriage vows offends God

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motelMy schedule is a bit irregular these days, which distracts me from taking care of the blog. But I do want to finish my examination of the affirmations I made about marriage a couple of weeks ago. We’re up to number eight:

Failure to respect our marriage vows is an offense to God.

As I’ve said, we’ve lost the concept of what a vow really means. We stand and pledge allegiance to a flag without thinking of what it means to pledge. We take an oath in court without thinking about the God we are invoking. We take vows on our wedding day and lose sight of the seriousness of that act.

By including God in our marriage ceremony, we include him in the marriage itself. The promises made are made not only to one another, but to God. When we break those promises, we are disrespecting God.

God’s words from Malachi 2 are significant here:

“And this second thing you do. You cover the LORD’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand. But you say, “Why does he not?” Because the LORD was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. Did he not make them one, with a portion of the Spirit in their union? And what was the one God seeking? Godly offspring. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and let none of you be faithless to the wife of your youth. “For the man who hates and divorces, says the LORD, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the LORD of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.” (Malachi 2:13–16)

God is speaking directly about divorce, but notice what he says. God is a witness to the covenant made. Because of this “faithlessness” is offensive to him. Being faithless not only disrupts the relationship between man and woman, but also between the offender and God.

“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” (Hebrews 13:4)

Our 8th affirmation: Failure to respect our marriage vows is an offense to God.

Covenants and vows

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wedding rings and bibleI’m taking some time to flesh out some affirmations about marriage that I made in a sermon last week. We’re up to the fourth affirmation:
Marriage is a covenant, with God as witness.

Covenants are not part of our everyday experience here in the West. We know contracts. We don’t know covenants very well. In the same way, we’re not nearly as familiar with vows as we are promises. Marriage, being an ancient institution, takes us back to ways of thinking that are very old. We shouldn’t be surprised, then, if marriage can seem a bit “old fashioned,” for it is.

We need to remember that there are two kinds of covenants in the Bible. One is the covenant imposed by a superior party on an inferior party, what is often known as the “suzerain covenant.” This was common in the Ancient Near East as a conquering king would bestow favor on a weaker ruler in exchange for loyalty and service. There are many parallels between this type of covenant and the Mosaic covenant we find in the Law.

Another covenant is that between two human parties, like the covenant between Jonathan and David (1 Samuel 18:3–4). Such a covenant is no less binding (note David’s care for Mephibosheth in 2 Samuel), but it is a covenant between equals. The marriage covenant is more like this, though God at times compares his relationship with Israel to a marriage.

What needs to be seen is that this is a binding agreement, entered into with vows of loyalty. As such, it is a serious thing, much more serious than how much of the world views marriage. [When I was in high school, a teacher mentioned to us some modern wedding vows that she had heard: “I promise to love you until our love dies.” I told my teacher that sounded like: “I promise to stay here until I leave.” (And no, she didn’t appreciate the comment) Such promises are not vows.]

When we think of weddings, we think of fancy clothes, flowers, music, and a reception. Much attention goes into the choice of place and participants. Little thought goes into the reality of the vows being taken.a

We stand before God and state our intention to form a union that will only be broken by death. I’m not denying the reality of divorce, but I am saying that we vow before God to live together for the rest of our lives. Breaking those vows is a serious thing.

When I talk about such with couples, I often read Ecclesiastes 5:

“Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few. As a dream comes when there are many cares, so the speech of a fool when there are many words. When you make a vow to God, do not delay in fulfilling it. He has no pleasure in fools; fulfill your vow. It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.” (Ecclesiastes 5:2–5)

God expects us to fulfill vows. Marriage is a solemn covenant. God is our witness. “It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it.”

Affirmation #4: Marriage is a covenant, with God as witness.

Photo by Daniel Manolache