The Frenzied Trendsuckers (bandwagonae jumponicus) are a fast-moving member of the bird family. They are continually chasing after shiny objects, principally the newest trends and latest fads. They live in search of a new and better flock of which to be a part of.

The Trendsucker can be recognized by its distinctive call, including sounds like “new,” “latest,” and “what the church should have been all along.” They are often carrying books with titles like “The Post-evangelical Neo-missional Re-emergent Movement.” They will respond to terms like “senior minister” or “church planter,” but will not respond to traditional calls like “preacher” or “pulpit minister.”

Young Frenzied Trendsuckers do not do well in captivity, though older ones can be domesticated over time. Once domesticated, the Trendsucker is completely rejected by his wild counterparts.

Unfortunately, Trendsuckers can often be very agressive toward species similar to themselves. Only with great patience can Frenzied Trendsuckers be brought to share living space with other species.