Top 10 Explanations for the Mayan Calendar

So what about the Mayan calendar? Basically, it comes down to a big “So what?” The Mayans had no concept of the end of the world, so it certainly wasn’t meant to predict that. This calendar, accurate though it is, was never in general use among the Mayans. Other Mayan inscriptions refer to dates far beyond 2012. And this calendar is one of repeating cycles; the Mayans would have expected a new cycle to begin, much like what happens here on January 1.

If it were the end of the world, that would hardly be a tragedy for Christians. As Paul said it, “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain.” (Philippians 1:21)

Still, it seems appropriate that we take a few moments to contemplate explanations for the Mayan calendar. Here are my top 10:

10) Calendar was actually meant to be the first in a trilogy. Poor sales led to cancellation of the other two works.

9) “We create a calendar that spans almost 2000 years, and you’re complaining that it doesn’t go far enough? Do you know how hard it is to carve one of those things?”

8) Calendar originally had more dates, but was damaged when Mayans tore off the coupons for “Chichen Itza Chicken & Pizza.”

7) Carving was never meant to be a calendar; merely represents ancient Mayan Oreos. (OK, that’s the Aztec carving. Don’t ruin my jokes with facts!)
6) Mayans were actually counting down days to premiere of new reality show: “Yucatan Shore.”

5) Calendar was going to be a swimsuit calendar, but Aztecs kept sacrificing the models before their images were carved in stone.

4) Work was progressing nicely until someone invented ancient forerunner of Facebook; nothing productive occurred after that date.

3) “Calendar? That’s our Wheel of Fortune wheel.”

2) Calendar actually ends in 5015; we’ve been holding it upside down!

And the number one explanation of the Mayan Calendar mystery…

1) “Calendar didn’t reach the end. You forgot to turn the page!”

Have a great weekend!

5 thoughts on “Top 10 Explanations for the Mayan Calendar

  1. C. Kevin Archer

    [Somehow, my rants always sound angry. I’m not angry, I think that’s just how rants sound ;-) ]

    How did you arrive at the conclusion that the Maya had no concept of the end of the world? The Mayan calendar may not mean the end of the world, but it also isn’t meaningless.

    Imagine if January 1st rolled around and we didn’t celebrate New Years day. It is just a day like any other after all. The day would pass and nothing would “happen” so why note it? The reason to celebrate and take note of days is to remember things that are special or important to us. If the end of the Mayan calendar has no meaning for you, then don’t celebrate it. But why mock those that do? It’s kinda like making fun of people who celebrate the Chinese New Year. Makes you seem like a xenophobe. You lived among the Maya, Tim… why would you disrespect their culture and the beliefs and interests of millions of people around the world?

    So you believe it is NOT the end of the world. So you believe the calendar is mis-interpreted. So what?!?

    If you want other people to listen to your wacky “end times” beliefs about a red dragon with seven heads wearing king crowns (Revelations 12:3) perhaps you ought to step back and just listen when others talk about the end of the long count calendar. When they express their fears of what it might symbolize. Or when they celebrate the future that it might foretell.

    Alternately… lets all have a good laugh about the book of Revelations.

  2. Tim Archer Post author

    Rant away, Kevin. I’d expect no less. :-)

    OK, admittedly I can cite no text from Mayans that lived thousands of years ago saying “We have no concept of an end of the world.” (Of course, the Spanish could be to blame for that: http://www.timothyarcher.com/kitchen/a-brief-over-simplified-history-of-latin-america-early-evangelism/)

    I do know that:

    1. Those that study such things make those affirmations.
    2. Present day Mayans affirm the same.

    The end of the Mayan calendar means about as much as the beginning of winter. It’s not without significance, but it really doesn’t change anything.

    I would (and do) equally make fun of any who try to give a literal interpretation of Revelation. Just as I’m not laughing at the Mayans nor their calendar, I wouldn’t laugh at Revelation itself. But just as I laugh at those who make wild-eyed claims about Revelation just because they’ve never read apocalyptic literature, I feel free to have good-natured fun with those who try to make the Mayan calendar say things that no Mayans have claimed it to say.

    Merry Christmas!

  3. C. Kevin Archer

    And Merry Christmas to you!

    Thank you for the thought provoking blog and intellectual discussion throughout the year. It carries me through many days and I appreciate it very much.

    C. Kevin >>—-Archer—->

  4. laymond

    ” I feel free to have good-natured fun with those who try to make the Mayan calendar say things that no Mayans have claimed it to say.”

    Tim, if you feel that privilege is afforded you, simply because it can’t be proved in Mayan writings, why do you not accept the questioning of those who say , your belief that Jesus is God, and that God is a Trinity. Last time I looked I did not fine such a writing in the book called “The Bible”.

  5. Tim Archer Post author

    Laymond,

    You have never BEGUN to answer the posts that have shown you your error on that subject. When you can’t answer, you claim to be offended and stop discussing. Yet you continue to troll the Internet, accusing others of being in error while refusing to deal with the biblical texts themselves.

    And you have been warned to stop bringing it up on unrelated posts. You will discuss it in the appropriate place as requested multiple times or you will be on moderated status.

    Welcome back to moderated status.

    Grace and peace,
    Tim Archer

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